But only in our dreams

We've had a few days of good progress with Eiley. She's been upgraded to a "big girl" crib, the IV and respirator are completely disconnected, and we're now staying in Pod G. This pod is somewhat considered to be, entirely unofficially, the preparing-for-exit pod. In our new location we have some new goals. Once we reach these goals we'll be able to go home! First, Eiley needs to consistently eat 80% of her food for a day from a bottle. Second, she needs to be gaining weight. Once we reach those goals we’ll be able to take the feeding tube out and hopefully prepare to leave. There's a beautiful frustration to all of this. She's not super interested in eating with her mouth because the IV and feeding tube made eating orally unnecessary. Our little girl who latched moments after birth isn’t really sure why eating is so important. I like to think she's ahead of the curve testing some future iteration of Soylent rather than being stubborn little person.

This brings us to a hard realization. One we hadn't really considered too thoroughly. We won't be home for Christmas. This has been particularly hard for Alexa since holidays and hosting guests are two of her favorite things. No one really plans to spend Christmas in the NICU. At the same time we have a great peace about it. Above all else we want to be here helping this little girl transition into the world. What really matters is that we’re all together.

And what a beautiful experience for us to be wrestling with a newborn as we celebrate the birth of our Savior. To hold tiny hands similar to those that were destined to be nailed to the cross on our behalf. To touch whispy hair on a precious head like the one that came to bear a crown of thorns. To be able to experience this love for a child like the Father loves the Son. But to do all this covered in abundant grace knowing our child isn't the one to pay the ultimate price.

Eiley working on a bottle with Alexa. 

I’d also like to share a few smaller milestones we’ve reached. Eiley passed her hearing test with flying colors. Both her ears work great. She also had her first snuggles with Grandma Amy. Last but certainly not least, Eiley also has a beanie now, just like her dad!

Hopefully in the next few days she will be eating a sufficient amount of food so she can come home. She’s currently eating around 70% from the bottle. We are very close. I couldn’t be more proud of her or thankful for the love and support we’ve received this past week. Your prayers and messages are very much appreciated and cherished.

As I’ve said before: I can’t wait for you to meet our Eiley 💛