Software Engineer

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Home is where our hearts are

My little family has made some great progress these last few days. When Eiley started her time in the NICU I was told that I was only allowed to hold her hand and nothing else. Ideally reducing interaction and stimulation would allow her body to focus on other things such as getting better. So I did my best to cherish the small interactions I was permitted. Short hand holds if she opened her tiny fingers. Occasionally helping put the pacifier back when she spits it out or maybe the odd chance to rearrange a cord she was sleepily tugging at. It wasn’t much but it was better than nothing! Gradually the nurses started asking me to help with things like calming her down while they changed her diaper or helping keep her still while putting in a feeding tube. As uncomfortable and mundane as these interactions were, I was thankful for them.

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Eiley trying to spit her pacifier across the room... again. 

On the second day my parents took me to lunch to get out of the hospital for a little bit. I’ve really appreciated their company while Alexa continued to regain her strength back in Lincoln. After lunch mom and I headed back in to be with Eiley. The nurse had her bed open and asked if I’d like to learn how to take care of some of their routine tasks. First she showed me how to take Eiley’s temperature. After that she talked me through changing a diaper. I never thought I’d ever get excited about changing a diaper, but I supposed there is a first time for everything. Finally she showed me how to swaddle Eiley really snug. It was great to do more than watch her sleep.

The nurse told me I could start doing those tasks now. That I could start taking care of those things for Eiley in the NICU. Hallelujah! What a joy to be able to interact and care for my child. But the excitement came with a cherry on top.

“Would you like to hold her now?” the nurse asked me.

“You mean right now?”

“Yes, right now!”

I don’t think I ever said yes, but the look on my face must have been enough. They brought me a rocking chair and a pillow to rest her on. After 41 weeks and 2 days it was finally my turn!

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Me holding Eiley for the very first time

Turns out she is already making good progress. The heater on her bed has been turned off, because she’s able to keep herself warm enough. They’re no longer adding oxygen to her CPAP, so it’s only adding a little pressure to help her breathe deeply. Her breathing rate is also slowing down and becoming less labored. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we are getting closer.

Today, December 19th, was Alexa’s fourth and final day in the hospital since the delivery. She needed one more day after receiving the blood transfusion before she was well enough to leave. Finally this afternoon she was discharged. At lunch I came back to Lincoln and picked her up. We went right to the NICU so that she could be with Eiley. When we arrived in the pod we were pleased to hear that Eiley had been prescribed a little bit of skin-to-skin time with momma.

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Alexa holding Eiley in the NICU

They were able to spend several hours together, cuddling and rocking. Eiley even opened her eyes a little bit to admire her beautiful mother. Eventually it came time to pack up our things and head home for the night. It was hard to say goodbye but not like it had been before.

Now Alexa and I are back home in our apartment for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s nice to sleep in a real bed and use a familiar shower, but it doesn’t quite feel like home the way it used to. I don’t think it will until we get Eiley in the cradle next to our bed 💛